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Wack A DoodlePerhaps I am feeling a little jaundiced at people that commit crimes and blame their inner demons and get away with murder. As in the case of the idiot that went into the movie theater in Colorado, shot the place up and plead ‘insanity’,I reply, to wit, man up. This story, as always, is true. I definitely changed the names just in case. I found, in a very old box, full of very old pictures a nude I took of the subject of my story. It is in my gallery, a public picture. The pic is entitled the same as my story. I took this picture n the summer of 1987 in the front room of her house she lived in at Tahoe Park in Sacramento, CA. . She loved showing off her nude body to me. Of course, it was not bad to look at. Then again, I will let you be the judge. THE STORY: After Molly and I split over our difference of opinions on how my career should unfold, I swore I would never, ever look at a woman the same way. Well, that vow lasted about a year and ended in the oddest of places, work. I have often heard people say, “Never fish off the same dock you work on.” In this case, it worked out. At Aero Jet, a rocket motor design and prototype company, the halls and offices were full of geniuses. Just having a B.S., made me low man on the totem pole. One such ‘little person’ (in the eyes of the PhD’s) was the receptionist called Chris (not her real name).Chris, like me had a Bachelor of Science in Math/Statistics, yet, managed to latch on as a receptionist. I was in prototype testing; translated to laymen’s terms, I made sure the wires that went from one black box to the other made a connection. Brain dead work, but I had a foot in the door. Aero jet also had an astronomy club which meet weekly on Friday night and a rocket club. Rocket club was fun, as we got to blow things up. Chris stood out to me at the Astronomy club. Most of the people in attendance had home built telescopes. After all, everyone had access to state of the art manufacturing equipment and telescopes larger than four or six inches were not readily available in retail shops; without a huge price tag. Remember, this was 1986 and the internet was virtually unknown.I sat with my two inch scope, looking at Halley’s (pronounced Haw-lee) Comet and Chris approached me and mentioned she remembered me from my internship days. That was three years prior, I either made an impression or someone fed her information. Monday at work. Chris paged me to come up front at my break time. I was expecting a telegram from Molly, I figured Western Union had delivered to where I worked. Chris said, “Hi, I wondered what you were doing after work?” “Nothing much, I’m just going home, maybe do some homework because I am working on my Masters. Why?” “Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go out for some coffee?”I readily agreed.We met and had a lot in common. Both working on Masters Degrees, a little over qualified for jobs we held but holding out for something else. Chris was also an only c***d, had little extended family as most lived back East. Her parents were deceased so she was on her own, so to speak for only a couple of years We agreed to meet again. We did. Before I could recall the pain I felt as I saw Molly the Manager hop on that airplane and move to Switzerland, we started ‘hanging out.” Chris went to Church, a nice place. Their College/Career age group was large a mixture of pared up people, singles but the ratio of guys to girls was like the congregation I attended when I lived downtown. When I introduced myself and told everyone where I worked, someone quipped in the background, “Another genius to make the rest of us look dumb.” Before you know it, we were going to movies, I fixed her dinner and we just enjoyed each others company. By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, Chris asked something like, “Do you think we are exclusive?” I mentioned I had no intention of ‘asking’ anyone else out, and if I were asked out, I would decline. “Well, then we are exclusive. So here is my plan.” Chris’s plan was to invite several of the people from Church over with similar circumstances (single, maybe paired up or family a long way away) and have Thanksgiving. Well, it was her house, I agreed to help. The night before, Chris walks in with a turkey, she has no roasting pan, let alone a pot big enough to boil the ten to fifteen pounds of potatoes. A quick trip to the store and asking people that looked like they knew what they were doing and the day was a success. Also throw into the mix a ‘hunter’ (a Church friend), that brought a wild boar ham and no one left hungry. During that time of initial courtship before we had relations, I took things slow, waiting for her to make moves, as I was not wanting to open old wounds. During that three month time period, I acted like the Grand Inquisitor, asking mundane things like favorite color, least favorite food. I figured if this was going to work, I wanted to know just about everything I could. I shared the same things with Chris. We were not intimate. Oh, we did some heavy petting and a little second base; rubbing over clothing, I did not try anything else. As Christmas approached, Chris admitted she wanted, for the first time in years to have a tree. Chris commented, “I can put myself under the tree and you can open me up.” As we shopped, he held hands, giggled and kissed. Finally, we found the perfect tree. We got the tree home and she pulled out some very old ornaments, salvaged from her parents. Chris pulled out a box out of a bag she had stashed in the corner. It was a new box and handed it to me. It was a Hallmark Ornament; “First Christmas together.” “I bought this yesterday. I was thinking wonderful thought about you. I wanted you to put this on the tree,” Chris said with a smile. As I placed the ornament on the tree she finished the event by saying, “I hope we have many, many more.” We went to Church on Christmas Eve. Even though this church was a newer one, the lights and the candles (candle light service) made the whole scene look surreal. When we arrived home. I turned on the television and was watching something mundane. Chris said something like, “Well, I can think of nothing better than you waking up together on Christmas. I certainly hope you are spending the night? ” With that, Chris walked over to me on the couch, picked up the remote and turned off the television, sat on my lap and kissed me. Her kissing soon started something wilder türkçe bahis as before I knew it her sweat shirt was off and soon her bra. I had never gazed upon those nice tits before. They were firm and hard. Chris unbuttoned my shirt and as we kissed, she ran her hands on my chest and stomach. Chris has seen me “topless’ before and was always fascinated by my six pack stomach and my chest. Soon her tongue was moving down my stomach and she got on her knees and was unbuttoning my Levis. I gave her a little hand and before long she was stroking my dick.”Am I doing this right?” “You can’t do it wrong, why?””Well, I’ve only had sex once, it was not very memorable, but I want to remember this Christmas Eve for the rest of my life.”She noticed my dribbling pre-cum on the tip of my penis and asked if I had already cum. I told her no and explained that was leakage of pre-cum. Chris did not try giving me a blow job but after a few minutes of jacking me off she said, “I have a bedroom. Take me there, I’m yours.” We arose together, I picked her up. like a groom dragging the blushing bride across the thresh hold. Chris was 5’2 and about 118 pounds, I towered over her so the both of us probably looked odd as of the size difference. I gently laid her on the bed and laid beside her. I really did not know what she wanted next. I lay next to her and just massaged her tits and we made out. Her breathing became deep and soon she was pulling off her pants, revealing to me her wonderful pussy. Like all 1980 girls, she did not shave, and her bush was more a forest. Soon, I found her clit and started at first, a gentle massage. Her breathing became more forced and she said, “Oh, God, that feels good. Keep doing it. I don’t know what you are doing, but it feels good.” Before long she started shoving her hips into my hand, and started saying, “God, that is good…..God, don’t stop, keep doing it, keep doing it.” With one big gasp, her hips fell on the bed.Chris said, “I think I orgasm. I don’t know. I have never had an orgasm before. What does it feel like?”Well, it’s not like I have a long list of lovers and I have never actually sat down and asked what an orgasm feels like.” “God, I was hoping to try intercourse again. I’ve only done it once, it was not very good for me.”With that thought, I told her to hold on, as I wanted to get a condom.”Are you afraid of getting me pregnant? I’m not going to try and trap you, you are too nice a person.” Famous last words I thought to myself. “Well, the way I feel right now, if I try anything, i won’t last too long. I want this to be special.” I retrieved my wallet and put on a condom. Soon she started stroking my dick with the condom on and started sucking on the tip. Since she had come down at that point, I started to bring her up again. Before long, my massages of her clit and vagina and the sucking of her breast were having an effect. I asked her if she wanted to be on top or bottom. “I don’t care, lets just do it. God, do it!” As I got ready to insert I made sure I used plenty of her flowing juices and rubbed it on my condom. I found her vaginal opening and started to insert the head in. Chris let out a scream and said, “Ouch, God, that hurts!” I pulled it out at once. I asked if she wanted to try that again and she agreed. Same reaction. Chris started to cry. I said, “I did not mean to hurt you,” “I’ve only done this once, it hurt too. God, I am so sorry.” I told her there was nothing to be sorry about. I told her I was in love with her, not her vagina.Chris said, “Well, this probably was not very memorable for you. I know guys get worked up and just want to finish off.” With that she reached down and took off the condom and started to masturbate me. Her soft hands and her kisses from her warm lips, maybe even the Christmas music playing in the background (Silver Bells) lent a certain atmosphere to the situation. It was not too long before I came. Chris wanted to watch that. She claimed she had never seen a guy cum before. Remember, gentle reader, this was still before the age of the internet, porn movies on line and piped in Playboy Channel; let alone Emmanuel movies on Starz. I quickly cleaned myself up. Chris and I got semi dressed and we went into the front room. I poured us some Egg Nog and sliced a couple of pieces of fruit cake and we sat on the couch. Chris came in from the bathroom and said she was bleeding, not a lot but bleeding none the less. Despite her high education, I guess she fell asleep in the Health and Hygiene class as she asked if it was possible for her hymen to grow back.”Well, hymens are like adult teeth, you only get one. Maybe the time you had intercourse he did not get in all the way or you have a particularly thick hymen. They don’t grow back. Nor is a absence of a hymen ‘evidence’ a woman has had intercourse as some women don’t have a thick one and it may break doing something as innocent as riding a bicycle or running. “”God, if sex hurts all the time, what is so enjoyable about it?” “Chris, my love, once things get going, you will forget all about it.” Chris did not bring up trying intercourse until New Years Eve. We spent it alone. Since I had put a great TV antenna on her roof, we were watching an San Fransicko Bay Area channel that was showing a very old re-run of Guy Lombardo doing a New Years Eve show from 1955. Chris, usually a light (if at all drinker) had five margaritas. Feeling particularly tipsy, she said she was going to take a warm bath, as maybe the heat would make things a little better. I did not know what she meant until she exited the bathroom wearing, well, nothing. Chris said, “Let’s try again. Do you want to make love as I want to feel you inside me.” I did not have to be told twice. Since she was already undressed for the occasion, I disrobed and joined her in the bed. My usual foreplay kicked in. As I got her to a certain level, I thought, I decided to go down on her. Chris at first, giggled. I thought a strange reaction. Soon as I started to suck on her clit, she moaned in passion. Her hips were starting to bounce up and down in the bed. I stopped and asked, “Ready?” She said she was. I suggested to her we try doggy style as I could control my entry better. She got on all fours and I moved her over to the edge of the bed. She was a little short so I had to adjust myself.I reached around the front and soon was massaging her clit. with the güvenilir bahis siteleri other hand, I separated her vulva and found her vagina and slowly put in my penis. Once again, she said, “Ouch.” I was ready to pull it out but she said, in between the rapid breaths, “Don’t stop, I want you to put it all in, I thought the bath and the alcohol would numb things. It has a little, don’t stop.” I inched my way in, with every thrust, she breathed in and out and her vagina contracted. Soon, I was all the way in and started pumping. With each thrust, Chris said, “God, that is sooooo good.” Chris was very tight. Almost to the point it hurt me, my inventory trick was not working and I could feel the welling up of my orgasm. I started to tell Chris I was coming and she said, “Go ahead, pump some more, give it to me…..give it to me.” As I exploded, Chris screamed “God, I feel that. it is a great feeling.” I kept it in, wanting to savor the moment and I could feel her vagina contracting. After I pulled my penis out, Chris collapsed on the bed and said, “God, that hurt a little, but once I got past some of the pain, the feeling was great.” Once again Chris said she was bleeding a little, but not as much as before. In retrospect, Chris had one of those hymens that was particularly thick and it took about three more sessions of intercourse, before she stopped saying ouch when I inserted. Once we got thing loosened up. She was almost insatiable. Insatiable, for those of you who attended public school means not being able to be satisfied or desiring a constant stream of stimulation. Chris would call me at my area and ask something like, “Want to do a quickie for lunch?” Or, she would say, “Come right home (we were not living together and never did), I need a fix. Chris loved “Girl on Top.” It worked out for me as it gave me unfettered access to her tiny, but hard breasts. I also enjoyed the look on her face when she cum as she would tilt her head back and just let out a yell that I am sure the neighbors three doors down could hear. She loved oral, not as much giving as receiving. She would get out of the shower, lay down in bed and call me in and say, “Eat me!” Sometimes I would go for an hour or an hour and a half, just sucking and licking away. That made us late for Church more than once. Rim jobs. She liked those too. I never tried anal, I did do the Double Penetration with my index finger when we were doggy style, that was more for me than her as the first few times I did that, she did a loud ouch, but got used to that feeling and she would just breath a little faster when I put in my finger. . We, in April, had a long talk, as I felt we should take things to their next logical step, maybe even get engaged. We looked at rings. She picked out a couple that she would like, but left the decision up to me. I planned the engagement party in secret. The gathering, I held for the surprise, was just a Spring B-B-Que. with a few friends over. I told all the invitees to keep quiet on my little secret, as I did not want Chris to know. I enlisted my hunter friend to be the cook, as he was honored to serve as the chef at such an important occasion. Chris went through the entire day, up to the point I picked, not knowing what I had planned. At a point, I gathered everyone around, got on my knee, pulled out the ring and asked Chris to marry me. Chris said yes, I placed the ring on her finger and everyone clapped and cheered. It was an engagement party to remember. Things were not that stable, as I soon discovered.We picked a date the following July 1988. She had enrolled in the Teaching Credential program at Sac State and she would not be working, but had a six week break in classes during that time frame. In August, after a particularly riotous romp, which included sucking and fucking and sucking some more; Chris rolled up in the fetal position in the bed and started crying. I asked her what was wrong.”We are sinning. All this is sin. I never used to masturbate until you came along. Now, I do it in the morning, I go to my car or the bathroom at work. What would the Baby Jesus have said if he was to come back and seen us? Would he have taken us with him in the clouds.” Chris was never a particularly ‘religious’ person. She attended Church, as did I. To her, it was a social outlet. I told her, “Well, if you want to stop making love to sort of give our wedding night a special occasion to remember, we can stop. I don’t have a problem with that.””It’s not just that. It’s everything. I feel that I am losing control. Spiraling downward and I just can’t stop.” I failed to understand what she meant. Chris told me that she had also applied and was accepted into the program at her Father’s Alma Mater, Yale. She was leaving next week. That was beyond a dagger in the heart, that was more like a pallet of bricks on the head, a dagger and pulling out all my teeth. She never told me about applying or moving out of state. “So, where does that leave us?” I asked. “Are we going to get married, do you just need time alone?””it’s not you. It’s me. I still want to get married to you. I just want to do this.” Chris still considered us engaged as she left. I cleared out her house, taking her clothing and putting it in boxes and her furniture was early American garage sale so I gave it away and hauled some of it off. Chris called me a couple of times. Then the calls stopped. I did not know what demons were in her head (I make that statement in retrospect as to what I learned later). Thanksgiving and Christmas came and left. I did get a Christmas card from Chris with a long letter saying she had dropped out of school but was going to return start back up in January or maybe she was going to come back home, but she had not decided. She claimed she missed me and was sorry she left me alone for the holidays, but she hoped some day I could understand.The first weeks of 1988 rolled in like a banshee. Storms and rain and a knock on the door. It was a government official that was looking for Chris “X.” I told the nice man we were engaged, she did not live here but I could get ahold of her as she was back East. I asked what this was about. The nice man said, “Well, I guess I can tell you. I regret to inform you that “Donna X” her sister has passed away. She killed herself last Tuesday. Since Chris X is the next of kin and is listed as the only family member, we güvenilir canlı bahis siteleri need to notify her of the death and want to know how she wants the body disposed of.” I was numb. Chris told me she was an only c***d. My curiosity was aroused and I asked where she was when she died. “A mental institution called XXXXXXXXX. Evidently, Chris X moved from her house on Brad Street and we got your name and address from Aero Jet.” I gave the nice government man the last address (from the Christmas Card) and phone number that I was given by Chris. About two hours later, my phone rung. It was Chris in tears. In-between the sobs, sniffles and outright crying, Chris gave me a flight number and arrival time and asked me if I could ferry her about as she had “no one else that understands’ to help her. I did as she asked. Back before oBama Bin Laden, one could go to the gate at an airport and meet loved ones. I met Chris at the gate, gave her a hug and we left. Chris just had the carry on bag. I did notice she was still wearing our engagement ring. Not that I though I was going to claim any conjugal rights, I thought maybe there was still something. I also decided to let her tell me why she failed to tell me about an older sister.When all the arrangements were done, Chris and I had dinner at a real dive in the city where the hospital was located. Chris said, “I need to come clean. My sister at age 14 tried to burn down the house and hang herself in the back yard. She was also a cutter and had five attempts to commit suicide. My parents had her committed and the bulk of their estate was block granted to the hospital to care for my sister.” I was speechless and Chris went on.”My father, after my mother died, just did not sit and die from a broken heart or some sort of illness. My Father killed himself. He put a gun in his mouth and holding a very old family picture, he shot himself.” I was speechless, once again. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” I asked. “This certainly has caused you some pain, wouldn’t it have been nice to maybe discuss this with someone you loved?” Chris then told me about some of the ‘problems’ she was having, that started at age 19. She was on regular meds to help her ‘focus’ as she put it. She never shared the name of the med. “I went off the meds shortly after we started hanging out as you were making me feel much better. I know that was wrong, it did not take months I started noticing a change in a couple of weeks, but somehow, being around you made me feel better. You were my cure. ” “Why, if the meds were keeping you focused, go off them?””I don’t know, my meltdown of early August had been brewing for a while.” I, as I was always good to do, changed the subject and we went on with her day. Chris did not want to see her sister’s body. Maybe that was her method of closure.Her return trip was in five days. I let her sleep in my bed, I took the couch. I tried to re-kindle nothing, During her stay, we went to Church, everyone was happy to see her and my hunter friend was happy Chris was back to stay, as we made a ‘cute couple.’ “The Hunter” (Gregg) had become an acquaintance. I later told him a couple of weeks later, the reason why Chris had returned, he was flabbergasted by the revelations I had just discovered. I offered to go or drive her back East. Chris said she needed to do this ‘alone.’ planned to return to Sacramento. Chris called me when she arrived. I spoke to her a couple of times, I called her. Our conversations were pleasant. At the end of each call, Chris said, “I love you. You probably deserve better than me,” and she would hang up. I called one day and the number was disconnected. Mail was returned with no forwarding address.I moved on with my life. Lisa, the daughter of the Pastor of a Church I attended and I finally looked at each other and decided we would be ‘exclusive.’ We were married in 1991. EPILOGUE:Like a bad 1960’s television show, there is an Epilogue to this story. At the end of August, 1993, a nice government man knocked at my door on a warm Saturday afternoon. I was asked if I was “Mark Andersen,” knowing I was in no trouble for anything, I said yes. He asked me if I knew a Chris “X”. I said, yes, at one point we were an item but she moved out of town and I had not seen or heard from her since February 1988. The government official said, “I am sorry, I regret to inform you that Chris “X” is dead. According to the information I received from the agency and the person whose name is on the piece of paper I handed you; you were listed as “Next of Kin” and as an “Emergency Contact.” If you want any more information, you need to call that number. I just stood there, not moving, afraid I would pass out. I thanked the man. He did not even get past the stoop as Lisa asked, “Emergency contact? Next of Kin? Just how into this girl were you. I know you were not living together, you told me you ‘Popped the question,’ but she up and disappeared so you moved on. I could tell in your voice, six months later, you were hurt by her. “I told Lisa the whole story, as I knew it. I never wanted to tell her, as it was not relevant to our life together. In addition, we had a policy of not discussing past loves. I called the number on Monday as I had the day off and Lisa was also on vacation. Evidently, Chris was committed into a mental hospitals, several times from 1988 until her death. The person I spoke to gave me several different diagnosis based upon the paperwork he had received from the various institutions, all contradictory from what little I knew about mental health issues. Evidently, she finally had enough of life, as the line between genius and mental illness is a fine line. To take that ‘final trip,” Chris took a hand full of Tylenol 3 (30 mg of codeine), drank a half quart of Gin, tied a bag around her head and hung herself. I guess she wanted to die. She had already been buried, as, according to the voice at the other end of the line, they were having a hard time finding me. That was a lie as I lived in the same house and had the same phone number since 1987. The date Chris picked to kill herself harkened to me from her cold paupers grave in Scranton Pennsylvania; July 17, 1993. Chris and I picked July 17 as our wedding day.I was in a bit of a daze for a couple of days. I pulled out my old phone book and called a couple of people that she was friends with at Aero Jet. They were surprised as they thought she had a lot going for herself and were amazed she took off on me, as I could have been easily the “Catch of the Day,” or so they said. I told them it was never about me, she had problems. They probably did not, nor did I, understand the demons in her head.

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