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“For fuck’s sake, Helen, it’s just a bunch of women! What are you getting so jittery about?”“It just doesn’t feel right, sorry.”Helen was one of my best friends. I’ve worked with her for years in the same office. It wasn’t like we’d not been to the pub before although, on previous occasions, it had been an after-work drink or two with a load of others from the office. This time was different, at least in her eyes. It was the first time I’d managed to get her out on her own. Her husband, worthless moron that he was, her words not mine, was off working for about a month and no doubt getting up to who knew what. She’d started off hesitant when I first mooted the idea but then slowly changed to mild acceptance. My mistake had been to tell her where we were going before we set off. I should have kept it as a surprise.I’ll lay my cards on the table for you from the start. I’m a lesbian and I don’t give a fuck who knows it, those days are gone. Anyone reading my Facebook profile would take about five seconds to find it out. To her credit, Helen had known that almost from the moment we’d started to work together, and it was never something that had been an issue between us. It wasn’t even a subject up for discussion. She wasn’t shocked or even wary about being seen in my company. She was married and that was fine by me although admittedly he was a total jerk. She’d even met a couple of my girlfriends, now sadly ex-girlfriends, and was totally cool with them.Our town, unlike most of the big cities, was too small to have a dedicated lesbian bar but somehow we’d managed to form a fairly strong group that met once a week in the back room of a pub. They were a jolly and diverse crowd and it was the one place where we felt we could be ourselves and relax. And that was the reason for Helen’s panic. I’d foolishly let slip that that was our destination. She knew about it as I’d mentioned it in conversation a few times and it hadn’t been a big issue. But now… she was faced with the prospect of actually going there.“It’s just you and me going out for a drink,” I told her.“But why do we have to go there?”“It’s not some sleazy club, it’s just the back room of a pub. And it’s a load of my friends,” I explained, trying to make it sound less scary.“But…”“But nothing. It’s just a group of women having a good time together. What’s the worst thing that could happen?”Okay, in retrospect that maybe wasn’t the best thing to say as I could tell immediately that far too many worst-case scenarios were churning about inside her head.“But I’m not a lesbian.”“Neither are most of the others. There’s me and maybe four others. The rest of them aren’t so what’s the problem?”That seemed to calm her a little, so I didn’t add that several more were happily bi and at least two were on the cusp of god knows what. The stupid thing was I’d knew she’d be safe unless she made the decision to say “yes”. I won’t lie to you, I was hoping she would say it and I was praying that I’d be the one she’d say it to but if it didn’t happen then I was fine with that. In the end, I think I’d assuaged her fear enough as she finished getting ready and came and sat down and took her first glass of wine. We talked for a while, mostly about work-related things, Beşevler escort bayan about the new supervisor who was turning into a real dragon. We decided, amidst a frantic giggling session, that she was a dragon cross-bred with a bitch. We laughed enough that she was totally chilled out by the time it came for us to go to the pub. Maybe the wine helped but I didn’t give a damn, I was just pleased to have my happy friend back again.It only took two or three minutes to walk to the pub. When we entered we were confronted by the usual group of men propping up the bar and a mixed group sat round a table in the corner. The landlady, busy as usual behind the bar paused long enough to raise a hand and wave to me as we walked through. She had no real idea, but we all saw her as some sort of hero. She’d been the one who’d saved us by welcoming us with open arms, and a nice private back room, on that first night. A group of us had been out, or tried to go out, for a nice jolly evening together and been met with sullen coldness or outright rudeness in every pub and bar we went to in town. We were just walking back towards the area where we all lived and decided to give it one last try. Why we hadn’t tried this place first as it was really our local I have no idea, but it turned out to be one of the best ideas we’d ever had. She was as welcoming and warm as you could ever wish for despite the resentful frowns of some of her regulars. It was she who suggested the now infamous back room. When we turned up a week later, she was just as lovely and by week three there was a ‘reserved’ notice on the door to the back every Thursday evening.When I poked my head round the door to see who was there, I was greeted by the now familiar raucous and ribald greetings. There were six women already seated round the large table and I went over and said hello to them before retreating to the bar where the landlady was already waiting. Helen had lingered just inside the door and now followed me like a frightened puppy to the bar. I bought myself a glass of wine and a G the goings-on on the latest TV soap, some celebrity scandal that I’d somehow missed, all the usual trivia that’s used to waste a very pleasant evening.We all spilled out of the front door into the pleasant coolness of the late evening air and started to head off in different directions. Helen and I walked for a while with another couple of girls that lived in the same direction. We said our farewells when we got to my house and after a round of “mwah’s” they left us. As I opened the door I wondered how Helen had found her night out. We’d agreed that she could stay at mine as she probably wouldn’t be in any state to drive across town. But how should I play this? I was tempted to just forget about any ideas of seduction and just have a night-cap and then to separate beds. I let Helen past me into the house and turned and closed the door behind me. What happened next took me completely by surprise. As I turned away from the door, I was suddenly pushed back against it and Helen’s lips came onto mine in a frantic, almost desperate kiss. It took me a few seconds before I could work out what was happening before I automatically Escort Çankaya responded. We stayed in the hall for several minutes locked together, kissing like sex-maniacs. When we finally broke off for a much-needed gasp of air, I held her head in my hands and looked into her eyes.“Fucking hell, where did that come from?”“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t…”“Don’t fucking apologise,” I said, cutting her short, as I pulled her face closer and started kissing her again.The next time we broke apart, I took a deep breath. I was in some sort of shock and I needed to calm down to make sure this was really happening.“Wow, babe, I think I need a drink.”I managed to free myself from her enveloping arms and made my way to the living room. A half-full bottle of wine and two glasses were waiting for us on the low table in front of the sofa, the remnants of our earlier drink. I sat down and, as I filled both glasses, Helen came and sat next to me. She seemed shy again and left a gap between us. Was she already regretting her actions? As I passed her glass, I shifted almost imperceptibly towards her so that we were just touching. I could feel the roundness of her hip and her thigh was resting next to mine. When she didn’t flinch, I took it as a good sign. There was an awkward silence as we both sipped our wine. Eventually, I had to break that silence.“Whatever just happened I’m not complaining.”“I’m sorry I couldn’t help myself.”“Don’t be sorry it was great,” I looked at her and grinned, “but it was a bit of a surprise, to say the least. How long…” I trailed off and gave her space to reply.She looked down at her glass before replying in a quiet whisper, “A few weeks.”She seemed to be on the verge of tears, so I put my arm round her shoulders and gently pulled her into me. Her head came to rest in my armpit and we were still and quiet for a moment. Then she said something that I could barely hear.“Or maybe most of my life.”My fingers went under her chin and I tilted her head back until I could see her face. “You’re talking in riddles, babe.”“You asked me ‘how long’ and the answer is that I’ve suppressed this feeling for most of my life. In your case for at least a few weeks.”I sat in stunned silence looking down at her face. She was older than me by a few years and her face showed the struggle that had been her life but to me, she was beautiful in her new-found honesty.“But why were you so reluctant to come along tonight?”“It’s been like a sleeping demon inside me and I guess I was scared to wake it up.”“Well, it certainly woke up in the hall just now,” I said trying to lighten the mood.“I’m sorry if I shocked you.”“So where do we go from here?”“I don’t know,” she replied, “it’s all a bit scary.”I bent down and kissed her on the lips, not the crazed and lust-filled kiss from earlier but one that lingered long enough to give out a message. I didn’t know what would happen next either, I was at just as much a loss as she was, but I knew that the decision couldn’t be mine. I’d happily carry her upstairs to my bedroom and ravish her in an instant, but it had to be her choice. I leant forward and picked up my glass and downed what was left of the wine then sat back leaning away Cebeci escort from her and took her hands in mine.“It’s not my choice to make,” I told her, “it has to be yours.” She nodded to show that she understood. A spark of a plan came to me. “You know where my room is upstairs, and you know which is the spare room. It’s all ready for you as I was expecting you to stop over. Why don’t you go up and choose which room you want to be in? I’ll clear up in here and follow you in about five minutes.”I let the idea float around the silent room. She still held my gaze and her hands still nestled comfortably in mine, but I could almost hear the thoughts running pell-mell around her head. After what seemed like an age she nodded and stood up. Her hands slipped out of my grasp and she headed to the door. Just before she disappeared from view she glanced back at me. She still looked perplexed and I searched her face in vain for any clue. Then she was gone from my sight and I hear the faint sounds of her feet on the carpeted stairs. I strained my ears and I could just hear the sound of a door opening and closing and then total and utter silence. I still hadn’t the faintest idea which choice she would make but I knew I had done the right thing by letting her make it. I vaguely busied myself clearing up the glasses and the empty wine bottle and took them into the kitchen. I downed the remains of wine in her glass just to calm myself down. I went around switching off the lights until only the light on the upstairs landing remained. I have never been so nervous in my life as I was at that moment when I began to climb the stairs.At the top of the stairs, I paused and looked right and left. I could see the doors to the two rooms, and both were closed and gave me no clue. I had only one way to find out. I hesitated again outside the door to my bedroom my hand shakily loitering above the handle. It was all so simple. If I opened the door and the room was empty then I would just go to bed alone and hope we would still be friends in the morning. It wasn’t what I wanted. Oh, fuck, it was so not what I wanted. It seemed like a blanket of silence had been laid over the world as I took several deep breaths and then took hold of the door handle.She was sitting on the edge of the bed, her hands neatly folded in her lap and smiling. I stood in the doorway while I drank in the sight of her. I closed the door behind me and what I had intended to be a nice and gentle smile turned into a grin of delight. I guess I could have come up with all sorts of witty and clever remarks, but my brain had stopped working properly for some reason.In the end, I managed a pathetic “hi.”“Hi to you,” she replied, her voice soft and warm like honey.I sat down next to her and wondered what to do next. I needn’t have worried as we were once more kissing like over-eager teenagers. I was pushed backwards onto the bed and she attacked me, but in the best possible way. Then she moved on from my lips and sought out other parts of my face. I let her have free rein and pressed my lips to whatever part of her I could reach. When her lips finally returned to mine I pushed out my tongue and traced the outline of her mouth. Her lips parted and welcomed me in. we finally broke apart and simply looked at each other then she buried her head in my hair and hugged me tight.“Thank you,” came the muffled voice as she gave me another squeeze.“I was scared to open the door,” I confessed.“You’ll never know how close I was to going into the room across the hall.”

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