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Forbidden Love and Living On


Johanna met her favoured nephew’s look upon her and sensed that it had been so even as she talked to others in the garden of the Meijer’s holiday home. They had a bond that was unshakable, and she had accepted the invitation, to be here, knowing that Finn would be seen there and that they would have time together.

Her sister Nienke and brother-in-law, Frans, had invited a selection of their friends and immediate family members to a long weekend on Texel, with many choosing to spend nights in their mobile homes within the luxurious property’s extensive gardens, the stunted sea pines offering some shelter from the freshening winds that invariably blew off the North Sea. The expanse of sand dunes and grasses would be but a feeble barrier to those winds, but they also prevented curious passers-by, on the beach, from looking in.

It was turning out to be a glorious summer with unbroken sunny days and time enough to laze on the beach, walk along the surf-line, or to bathe in the long, narrow, indoor swimming pool that Frans had the contractors build before the split-level, flat-roofed box-like house was completely finished. Its aquamarine terrazzo tiles gave the water an irresistible tropical glow, the sliding doors opened to allow in the breeze.

The place was ultra-modern, glitzy, fashionably furnished and the décor an interior designers dream. Frans was ragingly successful; rich beyond her dreams and he offered Nienke and their kids an enviable life. He had done so over the many years of their marriage.

Johanna was happy for them, but she pursued a less grand life in her small apartment in the centre of Alkmaar, her views of the canal that passed her front door, the clock tower on the building of the Kaas Markt only too clear. She was happy enough there, even if she lived alone.

She heard the bubbly chatter all around her; saw the only too relaxed dress code that some of the women, present, took to uninhibited and unashamed extremes. She also noted how Frans and Hendrik, his eldest son, were busily working at the barbecue, with Nienke doing her practised routine of serving drinks and sharing in some of the laughter as she played the consummate hostess. Her daughter, Ineke, tended to the grand-children, and she knew, instinctively, how this would all be playing out in Finn’s mind.

He stood casually, talking to a cousin, she clad in a slinky bikini and with a colourful sundress, floaty and diaphanous, worn loose. The skin of her bare feet and legs showed a dusting of the dazzlingly white beach sand upon them.

She saw him smile and ask that he be excused before Finn made his way to her in his long, easy strides. Johanna felt a shiver of relief course through her body on seeing him. His attention would be on her alone now.

‘I haven’t seen her for years,’ he began but Johanna stopped him. She had threaded her arm through his and now persuaded him to walk, to put some distance between them and the others. ‘You did that when I was younger…just a kid.’

‘And now look at you,’ she answered in cool assurance, gazing up at him and taking in every detail of his face and meeting the intensity of his look upon her. The toddler, then teenager, had become an engaging and clever young man; only too overt in his admiring glances upon her. ‘The eco-warrior and environmentalist that you are is not everyone’s favourite, but you are mine.’

He kissed her cheek. He felt her hand grip his arm fiercely as he did that. There had always been an intensity in their dealings with each other that never strayed into over-familiarity.

‘The guy who’s after the truth of what is really going on.’ They soon stood facing each other, their drinks glasses all but empty. That was of no concern. ‘I’m sorry about what happened…your divorce. Henk must be crazy…to leave you.’

Johanna touched his cheek for an instant. Finn always seemed to have the right words for her, simple as they might sound, but the emotion that lay behind them only too clear.

‘I could say the same for you,’ she sighed, taking in every detail of his long, slender face. his high forehead and the mass of sandy brown hair that was clipped short at the sides. His attentive brown eyes were again upon her. ‘I’m….I’m sorry that we didn’t get the chance to talk for long last night.’

‘There’s time…we’ll make time, Jo, won’t we?’ he smiled, using his name for her. ‘You’ve become a rebel. I like your stressed jeans and your blouse…the twisted hem detail and its colours…’ His voice had trailed away as he flattered her. ‘Marion…my ex…she was into such things too…’

‘I know, but it’s not the reason I chose to wear them…’

‘I didn’t mean it to sound like that…’ They heard their names being called out and they turned to rejoin the party. Finn impetuously took hold of her hand. ‘Perhaps, when the rest are chilling out after lunch, we…we can go for a walk on the beach and talk some more…just be together?’

She güvenilir bahis smiled; accepted that his look upon her held the promise of confidences again being exchanged. It was behaviour that had fallen out of their ways with each other as the years passed. Now, she felt as if they were back to where it all began, only the youngster had grown into a handsome, strong and only too captivating young man; his ego dealt a blow by his wife’s defection.

‘I’d like to do that. You and I are in the same place…aren’t we?’

His answering squeeze to her hand suggested that it was so.


Johanna was disconcerted to find that she too had a need to be alone with him and to talk. It had been the same even when Henk, her ex, had been around at these gatherings. It had so often felt that Finn talked to her as if she was his best friend or a trusted sister. Nienke had some ten years on her and there had been times when her precocious youngest child, of three, was too much to handle. They still lived close to each other, and she had taken Finn off her hands for a few hours and spoiled him; treated him as if he was her own.

But the years had subtly changed their relationship, and failed marriages had then wrought its effect upon them. The al fresco beach party, late yesterday afternoon, had been the start of her reawakening and of all that was again at work between them.

Young and old, alike, had frolicked in the water, the warmth of the sun taking her mind off the change in temperature the further out you swam, and she was not the adventurous sort when it came to that.

‘Everyone seems to be quite settled here…none want to come for a walk on the strand, so we can do as we please.’ She was seen to meet his smile. ‘I’d go change, if I were you…we might end up in the water…mess about as we talk. Is it a deal?’

She suppressed a laugh on seeing the teasing grin that he gave her. ‘I’ll meet you at the path through the trees….’

‘Don’t dress up…just be beautiful as you were yesterday in your red swimsuit…’

‘You noticed,’ she laughed softly over her shoulder as she made to go to her room and change. It seemed that he had followed her progress step for step.

‘How could I not do that?’

It was crazy, and destructive, but she had felt a knot of longing for him as they stood talking in their easy ways of it. She was a forty-three-year-old and having lustful thoughts of a young man of twenty-five who had already crammed a lot of life’s experiences into so few years. He had noticed her red swimsuit, how it shaped her; but she was no match for others in their gathering who bravely carried off their looks, and what they brought to the eye, effortlessly.

He stood at two metres; she to his shoulder; Finn lean and fit; she with full breasts and the soft swell of a tummy that her swimsuit failed to fully flatten; he strong legged and filling his blue and white swimming shorts so darn well; she with fleshy thighs, yet still toned by bicycling to and from her work for an environmental magazine; he with his mop of sandy brown hair; she with sun blonde hair cut short, in a bob, and framing her face.

She’d make the most of what she had; let their bond and his impetuous nature do the rest. Finn would reawaken her adventurous nature and perhaps so much more. How they both needed that after what she had heard of his life being turned over and after all that she had been though.

During her marriage, to Henk, she’d never been tempted to cheat and was even surprised when men made only too overt suggestions to her; flirted and even propositioned her at work. It had been behaviour that she had not encouraged and chose not to pursue, not reporting the culprits or taking them up on their offer.

In short, she wanted to feel a bond with a man, not just to make herself available, to open up the way to him plumbing her and not making love; to just have meaningless sex, moments of fleeting pleasure if they were discovered and no more.

There had been times enough, in Finn’s formative teenage years, to have known what was at work in him. Now, his looks upon her had a more nuanced and mature approach. He seemed to seek comfort, and from her, his knowing aunt; just as she had decided that it might be him to bring that to her. She had liked it, to know that her nephew’s eyes had been on her, both yesterday and again today; especially moments ago.

‘This is crazy behaviour,’ she sighed as her clothes fell to the floor and she stood naked for an instant, before slipping on her blue patterned bathing suit; the thin straps slipped over her shoulders and her breasts tightly cupped in the wrap round bodice. The cut, by her belly and thighs, accentuated her mons. It made her grateful that she had shaved herself down there; a soft downy spiral of hair left at her crack, no more.

‘The lady’s in red,’ she had heard Finn murmur in appreciation, before she was whisked away by others in the family to play beach volleyball.

She stood before güvenilir bahis siteleri the mirror and cast a critical eye over herself as she brushed out her hair and tied it back as best she could. ‘I can’t change anything…so I’ll go with the tide.’

His words had kept her thinking. Last night Finn’s look had set her dreaming when she lay in bed and thought of him….

The way he had looked at her aroused a wild need for him; made her tremble and yearn. It had aroused the flush of wetness between her legs that her fingers only excited further. To touch herself and think of him doing that had really turned her on, for reasons that she could not easily explain.

‘You’ve made me into someone else…I’ve never felt this way about you before…or not so intense and achingly real.’

‘It’s the same for me…’ she thought he had said in reply, but his voice more certain.

She should have taken herself away…persuaded him not to push it any further, but his admission had aroused an acute urge of desire to know of him.

But Finn followed her through the coppice of sand pines on the dunes and there, out of everyone’s sight, he had embraced her. He had then pulled her against him and kissed her neck, her bare shoulders and then cupped her breasts. She had shivered on feeling him gently pinch on her nipple, offer touches that made them so achingly hard and so soon. Her mind raced, she felt the gnaw of longing following his first touches. Finn had aroused her and would coax her to abandon any restraint; have her forget who they were to each other.

She kissed him back; wanted him inside her; so deep inside her; their hands roaming over each other’s bodies; his straining prick pushing into her belly; her gasps of avowal to what would follow silenced by his deepening kisses.

He tugged her into deeper undergrowth and threw the beach towels on the ground. Finn would not be restrained and brushed away her hands as he stripped naked; had her glory in his arcing, straining, prick that stood out from his belly and a mat of golden-brown hair, his stomach muscles so defined.

Her hands trembled as she helped him in his undressing of her; guided his touches as two fingers entered her wet folds and worked their questing magic; persuaded her to lie on the towels, the prick of the undergrowth soon matched by the plunge of his penis into her body as Finn’s hands pushed her legs up; his mouth soon taking the flesh of her breasts to stifle his cries of wanton pleasure. She writhed and soon felt lost as he worked to find her, so deep, the head of his glorious penis pressing against her cervix and his length rushing her pussy’s walls and she moving to claim it for herself. The speed and force of his taking of her unrelenting; she lifting her hips to meet and tug on him as they pursued frenetic and wild acts of give and take.

‘I’m…I’m lost without you,’ she heard him cry out. She lifted her hips as best as she could to meet his thrusting claims and moved to clamp her muscles around him; to work her magic in bringing him on.

‘And…and…I’m here for you!’

She felt his balls slap against her skin; his prick swell, so deep within her and gloried in what was happening between them, out in the dunes and woods. Someone must hear and see them rutting like wild beasts, but no. They had the time and place to themselves

His body tensed and she milked him; felt Finn burst in drugging waves of a shared release. She was at one with him in mind and in body.


His attention was soon focussed only on her.

‘I guess they’ll soon wonder where we are,’ he smiled as they walked through the shade of the pines and then out onto the strand. She stopped for a moment to search for her sunglasses, tugged out a towel from the straw beach bag she’d had the presence of mind to bring.

‘Let them,’ she answered bluntly. ‘I told Nienke I was going for a walk with you out there….’

His gaze followed to where she pointed. He turned to see that Johanna had taken off her beach dress and now stood before him in a patterned one-piece swimming costume with splashes of blue. Its colours, her sunglasses, bangled bracelets and a necklace, along with the light tan of her skin, Johanna’s shapeliness, all of it captivated him.

She gave him a knowing smile. ‘I can still pull a man’s attention to me…’

‘Don’t I just know and feel that about you,’ he chose to admit, gently taking the bag from her grip. ‘I’ll carry this…after I’ve taken off my T-shirt. Your swimming costume matches the colour of the stripes in my beach shorts…’

It seemed to matter to him. Johanna couldn’t keep from touching his arm and delighted in how he was made, saw again his toned physique. They had soon reached the edge of the softly tumbling surf and walked along the water’s edge, the sun beating down upon them.

‘What do you feel?’ she asked, though she knew the answer.

‘The same as I so often felt when I was younger and was with you, or afterwards…that there iddaa siteleri was something unspoken between us…that kept me awake some nights…that the girls I went with couldn’t break down. They were all feelings that I shouldn’t have for an aunt…’

She stopped him. ‘And now….when we’re together like this?’

‘They’re the same. Infatuation has given way to…’

She met his unflinching gaze upon her. Johanna pouted as she thought on what to say in reply. He’d given voice to an unrequited feeling of lust for her.

‘And you carried those feelings into your marriage…in how you were with Anna?’

Finn was seen to shake his head as if to disavow what she had touched on. ‘No…you were married to Henk, and I saw that you could be happy. It mattered…that someone I cared deeply about was being looked after and loved. It…it didn’t keep me from thinking about you…that what you seemed to have found was slowly being taken from me and that I could do nothing about…to stop it from happening.’

She trembled. Johanna reached out to touch his cheek, but Finn took her hand and kissed it, then her fingers; then put it back against his cheek. ‘Oh, Finn…darling!’

‘I just wanted what I thought you had…’

She was drawn against him and slowly put her arms about his waist. She lingered in Finn’s embrace before she looked up at him. Improbably, she met a slow wondering kiss and felt the tremble on his lips.

‘Was…was it an act you put on for all of us?’ he now asked on moving away from her and resuming their walk.

She clutched his arm fiercely to slow their progress and was unbothered by the look that an elderly couple cast their way. ‘In the end, yes…but the few moments that we had…whenever we met…saw me through.’ She paused for only a moment. ‘I remember the times we had at that kermis…a holiday fair and the ride on the dodgems…then the Ferris wheel…when you were about to go to university. No one knew about it…a time that was our secret…like we sometimes had when you were so much younger…’

Finn heard the fondness of that memory being expressed. He stopped and he soon cupped her face in his hands. It was behaviour that made her look at him. ‘You were as infatuated as I was…and you had a stronger feeling than that about me…in spite of what everyone would say and think…if it ever became known?’

‘Yes…yes!’ she admitted, her eyes widening in surprise for what she was admitting. ‘I even felt it last night…after your words about my red swimsuit.’

‘How beautiful and womanly it made you look…’ He bent to kiss her; felt Johanna’s hands stroke the warm skin of his back before she gripped his hips and felt the press of his erection against her belly. ‘Infatuation…then and now…has given way to lust. Meet…meet me in this, Jo…do that for me please?’

‘And for myself!’ she laughed out, lifting her face to the sun as his kisses trailed down to her breastbone; his lips then gently tugging on her nipples, so hard that they were outlined through her swimsuit. ‘Come with me…in the dunes….dreams become a reality, for both of us!’

She skipped away like a young school girl, her hair soon stretching out on the breeze as they ran over the sands. There was no one near to see them as they stopped to share in deepening kisses of avowal and gave full expression for their hunger to know of each other.


His handsome face was close, a gentle breeze tousled their hair; his was a crazy sun-bleached sandy brown; hers like a blonde halo; the long breeze blown strands now getting in the way of their lips.

‘Sorry, but no more…’ she said on a shudder and feeling the hard swell of his prick against her belly as he sought to detain her. Their mouths met again. They kissed deeply, eyes closed, as their fingers fondled and teased each other. ‘I want to…but we have to go back to the others!’

‘In a moment…’

‘No, now!’ she laughed even as her randy lover fell to his knees in front of her, his fleshy and passionate goddess. Leaning forward into her belly he buried his face between her legs. Her scent was, as before, like an aphrodisiac for him.

‘Oh god, Finn,’ she gasped, her hands in his hair, ‘what are you doing to me? We have to go…we just have to!’

Grasping her firm butt cheeks, Finn pulled her as close as he could so he could lick his tongue in deeper. He could tell he was doing it right because he felt her hands on the back of his head and soon she was groaning, a deep animal growl that drove him crazy.

‘Ooooh you darling…darling,’ she rasped. ‘Be with me whenever you can! But now…we have to go!’

She tore herself away and met his soft smile and slow nod of the head in acknowledgement. She knew that her nakedness pleased him beyond enduring. His prick was still firm, and she touched it, brushed her fingers over it. Flirty banter on the beach had soon become a tempestuous and energy sapping fuck under the trees set in the dunes. The soft breeze had been on their skins and their minds only on each other and what they had finally succumbed to. Kisses and caresses had become a concession to years of suppressed longing and then the consummation of an infatuation that should not be spoken of.

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