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Deidre had big tits and liked to fuck. [Author’s Note: At this point I understand that for many readers, the above sentence is enough for you to remove whatever you might still be wearing below your waist and “pleasure” yourselves. If you do, I ask that before the afterglow fades (and even before you clean off your fingers because it’s not my keyboard), please take the time to leave a comment about how you personally identified with Deidre’s plight. Thank you.] Deidre’s husband, Dave, and her family called her ‘Deedee.’ Deedee was a great nickname because it’s such a fun name and Deedee is such a fun girl. ‘Deidre’ is kind of a stuffy name, especially if you pronounce it correctly. Face forward with your neck straight. Tip your chin up ever so slightly and stick out your lower lip. Stick it out more. Now say, ‘Dee-ur-druh’ while only moving your lower jaw. See? Stuffy! And don’t call her ‘Dee-dree.’ Deedee was a very pretty young woman, with bright blue eyes and high cheekbones that were high enough to give her face a very feminine shape but not so high that she’d be mistaken for a Disney villain. But whenever she was called ‘Dee-dree’ her face would sink in like a jack-o-lantern thirty days after Halloween. Everybody else called her Deedee, too, when she was in the room. The rest of the time they called her ‘Double-D’ because she had big tits. [Author’s note: Honestly, I wouldn’t have had to tell you again that she had big tits if you hadn’t skipped over the first fucking sentence in the story. Ugh! Every word has its purpose!] Dave was very handy around the house and had a big dick. [Author’s note: Please refer to my first note. I’m guessing that for those of you who didn’t care that Deedee had big tits and liked to fuck might now be creaming your panties over Dave’s attributes. I could now probably fill the rest of my allotted 5000 words with, ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’ followed by, ‘an explosion of cum. The end.’ But for the remaining one percent of you, there’s a story here somewhere as soon as I can come up with one.] ‘Handy around the house’ is not a euphemism. Dave really was very good at laying carpet (again, not a euphemism), bahis şirketleri connecting sockets (not either), plumbing (no), nailing things (c’mon), painting (nothing, no way you can make this dirty), and running to fetch batteries without asking what they’re for. Penises have been categorized as ‘showers’ and ‘growers.’ Dave’s dick, which many called ‘Double-Dave,’ fell into both categories. Before he was married to Deedee, he’d carry a tape measure around and win many a pub challenge. However, after they got married Deedee carried the tape measure. Dave also had eyes and a face, but at this point does it really matter? Deedee had not been clinically diagnosed with any mental disorders mostly because of the controversies around whether or not ‘hypersexuality’ or ‘nymphomania’ or ‘slut’ were actual disorders. She was seeing a therapist, though. He was eighty-two and had lost his testicles when he was eleven in a farming accident. The only way he could have been a better therapist for her was if he was eighty-three and had the accident at ten. Dave also had not been clinically diagnosed with any mental disorders but, again, does it really matter? The story opens (finally) with Deedee in her bubble bath. She used to shave herself when she took those long, hot, soapy, silky baths, but that morning she was simply using her DPG1000-WP (‘Double Plus Good,’ ‘Water Proof’) vibrator to satisfy that carnal itch that hadn’t been scratched since last night. Dave was going to be out of town all day and overnight, so Deedee needed to do something to tide her over until her date showed up. Deedee didn’t need to shave much anymore, mostly because of the Great Accidental Electrolysis Incident of 2018. That’s when she was masturbating in her bath with her (now dead) DPG1000-WR (‘Water Resistant’) vibbbbbrrrratorrrr. She was disappointed, but understood why Dave returned the twelve replacements that she had ordered thereafter, and bought her the DPG1000-WP instead. Safety first! She stepped out of the bath and shivered as she ran her hands across her silky goosebumps. She covered her stiff, brown nipples with her palms to warm them up. She could never figure bahis firmaları out why taking a bath made her nips so cold. She let her hair down and brushed it out, then padded to the bedroom to sit at her vanity where she quickly applied her makeup. “Cherries, roses or berries,” she contemplated before choosing the rose-colored lipstick. She paused before applying it, deciding to get another cup of coffee instead. She pulled on a pair of bikini panties and headed downstairs. “Good morning, Babe.” “DAVID!” “Yes?” “What are you doing here?” “I live here.” “I thought you left for your trip.” “It was cancelled. You know me, I like to keep busy, so I went to the hardware store and was the first customer of the day. You were still in your bath so I didn’t want to bother you. Anyway, I’ve got a lot of stuff planned.” He gave her a kiss on one cheek and swatted another. “I’ll be around if you need me. I parked the truck out back to unload it.” With that, he left out the back door. Fuck. Deedee frantically hunted down her phone. She had to call Honeybunch or Honeybuns or whoever it was coming over, to call off their date. She was flipping through when the front door opened. “Is the coast clear?” Fuck. It was Honey Bear. “No! Dave didn’t go on his trip. You need to leave!” Honey Bear knew better, though. He gave her a rough kiss and rubbed a wet spot onto her panties. “I’ll be in the guest room. I know you can’t say no.” She knew he was right and that she was in a terrible fix. I can do this. He’s a busy husband. Dave came back in with a couple bags of parts. “I’ll be in the basement, working at the circuit box.” “Why don’t you look at my circuit box, baby?” Dammit dammit dammit! Dave swung a bag around her back and smacked her hip with it. He gave her a kiss and said, “I really love you Babe!” He took the parts downstairs. Deedee ran upstairs where Honey Bear’s erection was waiting. Deedee started drooling. Also, saliva was running out the sides of her mouth. She hated the idea of disappointing a beau, so she pulled off her panties and jumped into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his thick neck and her legs around his thick waist. Together, they slowly kaçak bahis siteleri lowered her to impale her slick slit onto his thick dick. She knew she shouldn’t be doing this with her husband in the house, but she had a thickness. Unfortunately, she sort of slipped past and he almost dropped her. “Hey, watch it!” “Sorry!” Honey Bear hiked her up a few times, slapping her double-Ds up into his chin, nearly rendering him unconscious. They regained their bearings and tried again, this time taking into account that his dick leaned a little to the left. She repeatedly kissed his face and jumped up and down on his pole as he ambled towards the bed. Deedee’s phone rang. It was Dave. “I should take that,” she said. Honey Bear lumbered to the dresser and Deedee, still skewered, enjoyed every lumb. “Hi Baby, what’s up?” She had to mute her phone because Honey Bear kept lumbering and ambling and she subsequently kept squeaking and squealing. “Hey, could you check the power in the master bath for me?” “Sh-sure, Babe, hold on.” Deedee muted the phone again. “Unhook me. I’ve got to help Dave with his project for a minute.” Honey Bear sighed and lifted Deedee off of his dick. She waddled off until her knees got used to facing forward again. “EverythingworksgladIcouldhelpbyebye.” “Wait! How about the outlet you use for your hair dryer?” “Um, nope! I guess that means you’ll be in the basement for a while, huh?” “I was afraid of that. Thanks, Babe.” Deedee ran back to the guestroom and pushed Honey Bear onto his back on the bed. She straddled him with one hand on his knee and the other gripping his dick. “Aww, Deedee, I can’t play with your tits when we fuck like this!” Deedee ignored his whining as she wriggled her hips and wiggled his dick back into her pussy. Then she just sat there. “You don’t like my ass?” “Of course, I do, it’s just that …” “What’s wrong with my ass?” “Nothing! Honest! I was just saying …” She lifted herself up so that only his tip was still inside. Really, just the tip, not like when a guy promises to just put the tip in but, oops, sorry, didn’t mean to put the whole thing in, too late now, but, you know, the tip. “Should I stop? Should I send you home because my ass offends you?” She slammed herself back down. “Or is it my pussy? You suddenly don’t like my pussy now?” “No! I mean yes! I mean, you have the best ass and the best pussy and all I want …” “Touch it.” 

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