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My name is Dr. Reginald  Alexander Ghurtholtz. I am a monsterologist, teaching monsterology at the world-famous Graveyard University. For those of you who don’t know, monsterology is the study of monsters. Yes, they do exist. Of course, my so-called scientific colleagues disagree with me, but what do they know? They’re just a bunch of chemists, biologists, zoologists and so forth. You know… voodoo scientists. They actually had the nerve to tell me that monsterology wasn’t even a real word and that it couldn’t be found in the dictionary. Seriously? Since when has the dictionary been the authority on words? They even criticized me for writing my own monsterologist license. Well, who else is going to write it? I’m probably the only monsterologist in the whole world. True, that wasn’t their only criticism, but seriously, does it even matter that it was written in crayon? Or that I spelled my name incorrectly? Since when are those things important?Unfortunately, I was outnumbered and was challenged by my colleagues, the state, and the federal government, to prove that monsters exist. The stakes were high. If I couldn’t prove their existence, not only would I be stripped of my title, but Graveyard University would also be shut down since monsterology was the only course being taught. Getting the use of my basement back was not enough of a bright side to just give up. If they wanted proof, then I was going to give it to them. Since it was the middle of December, I thought I would start bahis siteleri my search by looking for The Abominable Snowmonster. Yes, I said ‘monster,’ not, ‘man.’ Just in case I actually found one, I didn’t want them to discredit my finding based on a technicality.I decided to start my search in my own backyard. There was lots of snow, so there was plenty of places for one of them to hide. While walking up a rather steep incline, I noticed something directly in front of me. Was this what I thought it was? I quickly bent down to take a closer look. What I thought was a rather large footprint embedded in the snow, turned out to be a rather large rock sticking out of it. My, at that very moment, broken nose made that painfully clear. Going back into my house to get some ice for my nose was not an option. With my luck, that’s when one of them would come out of hiding. Luckily, there was plenty of snow I could use instead. I quickly bent down to… You know what’s more painful than breaking your nose? It’s breaking your already broken nose! Yeah, that rather large rock got me again.After three days of searching with no luck, I thought a better strategy would be to use the internet and have the monsters come to me instead. I offered to pay $10,000 to anyone who could prove that they or someone they knew was a monster. The response was amazing. Why hadn’t I thought of this before? The numbers were so overwhelming, I had to separate them into groups, the largest of which were those claiming canlı bahis siteleri to be werewolves. Since werewolves love warm weather, I decided to conduct my werewolf tests in Florida. I didn’t want to give them any excuses to not show up. Before werewolves can become official werewolves, they must earn three werewolf badges. To earn the first badge, they must sell at least twenty boxes of chipmunk cookies. Any who sell less than twenty, will be eliminated from further testing. So, why chipmunk and not werewolf cookies? That’s just because the guy I hired to do the artwork for the boxes simply didn’t know how to draw werewolves. I suppose I could have hired someone else to correct the situation, but decided to go with the lazy and cheaper solution.The second badge is earned by howling at the full moon. Each howl is graded on volume, duration and most werewolf like. They can earn extra points if they don’t fart during it. I remember testing one fella who told me he was going to howl the most epic howl in werewolf history. He huffed and he puffed, took in one final deep breath and just as he was about to, he let out the loudest fart I have ever heard. He was so embarrassed, he didn’t even bother to give it a second try. It’s too bad. I would have liked to have heard what he could do, though it would have needed to be one heck of an epic howl to drown out that noise. Seriously, I felt the ground shake a little.To earn the final badge, you have to pass the silver bullet canlı bahis to the heart test. It’s pretty self explanatory, isn’t it? To be honest, the first badge isn’t even necessary. I just thought it was a good way to make the $10,000. The final badge isn’t necessary either. I just thought it was a good way to keep the $10,000. Hey, they wanted me to prove monsters existed, not that they were alive. The real test was earning that second badge. Unfortunately, only one potential werewolf earned it. The funny thing is, he was the most unwerewolf looking of the bunch. Sure, he had the fangs. But he had a slight build, pale skin, a slicked back hairstyle and this long, black cape that he wore. He also spoke with this funny accent and kept telling everyone how much he wanted to, “drink their blood.”In the end, none of that mattered. If the silver bullet to the heart kills him, he’s a werewolf in my book. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was after pulling the trigger. As you probably guessed, it didn’t kill him, though he was flopping around on the ground, crying about how much it hurt. He was being such a baby about it, I drove him to the beach in the morning. I figured some sunshine would do him some good. I left him there to go get some breakfast. When I returned to check on his condition, all I found was his clothes. I figured if he was feeling well enough to go skinny dipping, there was nothing to be concerned about. Now that I think about it, I’m not so sure he claimed he was a werewolf. Oh well, it doesn’t matter. If a silver bullet to the heart doesn’t kill you, that just screams that you’re not a monster. With that, it was time to head for home, no closer to finding a monster than when I started.

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