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Drunk

I sat up for hours in my hotel room that night staring out the window over the void of the ocean. A light rain had streaked tears on the glass, little more than a mist to obscure the world outside.

Dani was just down the hall but she felt farther away from me than ever. I imagined her cleaning up my blacked-out brother. It made me furious. She shouldn’t have to deal with that; she should be pampered and cared for and loved every night until she falls peacefully to sleep.

The image of Mike’s corpse-like body hugging the toilet had imprinted itself on my mind. I couldn’t shake the disgusting thought that he really was dead and that I could finally have everything I wanted now that he was gone.

Did he deserve to die for taking her for granted?

Would I kill my brother for Dani?

The idea made me sweat. It flipped my stomach until I couldn’t take it anymore. I lurched up to the bathroom, hurling into the toilet until the unnatural thoughts had been purged from my system. When there was nothing left to spew, I flushed the bowl and collapsed onto the toilet seat.

All that was left was the thought of her; our amazing escape on the beach; the love we’d made in the shower while my brother dipped in and out of consciousness.

My hand moved without my brain’s command, fishing my phone from the pocket of my slacks and navigating to the file that kept my secret pictures of Dani. They were my buried treasure, my precious horde of gold and gemstones that I kept from the world.

Of all the pictures Dani had gifted me–in various poses of exposure–the one that I landed on was the closeup of her face with that slight, concerned smile. I held the phone to my face and zoomed in until her eyes filled the screen as if we were nose to nose. My other hand had pulled my depressed but growing erection from my pants. I began to stroke myself slowly as I gazed into the artificial eyes of my lover.

I could feel her sweet lips brushing against my ear as she whispered to me.

My hand became hers, smooth and delicate as she teased my cock from tip to base.

The precum pouring out of me pretended to be her juices, her pussy soaked for me as I inched into her.

“Dani,” I moaned to the empty bathroom. “I love you, Dani.” I panted faster and faster as I began to tug at myself viciously. “I love you–I need you–I want him gone–I want him dead fucking leave him fuck why why why fuck FUCK!”

My arm snapped back before launching the phone into the shower door, cracking the tall glass. I jumped up, still screaming as I drove my heel down into the phone. Rage had taken over, and I watched from the passenger seat as my sorrow destroyed the device.

In an instant, the fury abandoned my body, leaving me slumped against the tiled wall in a pathetic heap of tears and a fleeting erection. I gathered up the pieces of the phone, finding myself even more distraught when I realized that I had broken it beyond repair. The phone’s internal components hung out of it like the intestinal tract of a gutted man–the pictures were gone forever.

The hotel slept around me as I wept on the bathroom floor.

I hated my brother.

I hated Dani for being with him.

And then I hated myself for thinking that I could ever hate her…

I made a quick escape in the morning, leaving a note that apologized for the cracked shower door and asked them to charge it to my bill. The light of day assaulted my eyes as I walked to my car, my body tired and sensitive from a mild hangover and the lack of sleep.

My parents were hosting a Sunday BBQ at their house, and I couldn’t abandon it without bringing unwanted attention to myself. So, I got ahead of the others, arriving at my parent’s house before anyone else–even my parents–had arrived. I took a quick shower, downed a cup of coffee, and passed out in the guest room.

The sound of laughter and grocery bags being torn open downstairs pulled me from an uneasy sleep and when I came downstairs, my parents, Dani, and my aunt and uncle were in the kitchen preparing for the feast.

“There he is!” my dad cheered, stomping over and giving me a fatherly hug. He was especially jubilant that morning, and the glowing look on my mother’s face told me everything I needed to know about their night. “Where did you disappear to last night? I tried calling you a few times this morning but your phone was off.”

“Ya, I lost it,” I lied, glancing in Dani’s direction. “I must have dropped it in the surf when I was down at the beach.”

“Ahhh,” my father hummed, jostling me with his elbow. “Late night with a lovely lady from the wedding, huh?”

Dani granted me a subtle smile which I refused to return. I saw the hurt in her eyes before I turned away and it made me hate myself even more. “Ya, something like that, dad.”

I gratefully accepted another cup of coffee from my mother, asking no one in particular, “Where’s Mike?”

“Ohh, Mikey has a little hangover,” my mother squeaked.

“A little one?” My uncle boomed. “That boy is on death’s doorstep.”

His wife slapped his arm as he laughed yalova escort to himself.

If only…

“Ahh, he’ll be alright,” my dad said, cutting into a big slab of meat. “When this venison starts cooking, the smell will pull him right out of bed and down the stairs. Come on, let’s get out back and enjoy the sunshine!”

It was objectively a beautiful Sunday, but I was looking at the world through shit-tinted glasses. If I was in the sunlight, it was too hot; if I took to the shade, too cold. The clear water of the pool looked uninviting. My mother’s famous margaritas did nothing but overwhelm my depressed tastebuds with salt. And the banter between my dad and uncle that never failed to crack me up was falling flat.

That is until Dani returned from a short trip into the house. She had changed out of her Sunday summer dress, dawning a diaphanous beach robe and a black bikini. Her tits were covered but bursting, and the bikini rode up her busty ass as she walked. Suddenly, the world was vibrant again. For a moment, I forgot about the sorrow and hate and lost myself in her elegance.

More guests had arrived. Cousins. Family friends. And enough kids to bring joyful chaos to the backyard.

A few of the younger boys begged Dani to swim with them, and she obliged. I’m sure they were just being horny kids, eager for her to strip out her beach robe so they could get a look at a real woman. Dani was so good with them, matching their youthful energy and never shying away from an opportunity to be silly and make them laugh.

But when she finally emerged from the water, I had to cross my legs to hide my excitement. She dripped in the warm sunlight, oozing sex appeal as her curves folded and flexed. I imagined the two of us swimming together in an otherwise empty backyard. Our feet would tease each other under the water, inching closer together with each playful splash. Her body would stick to mine when we embraced–her legs wrapping around my waist–and we would float aimlessly until my back came against the edge of the pool. Sliding her bottoms to one side, I’d press my way into her, going slow until we broke past the barrier of water acting as an anti-lubricant.

“Alex!”

My father’s voice drowned my fantasy, and I averted my eyes from Dani’s body.

“I said, how many burgers do you want?” he asked, his eyes scanning my face with that parental interrogation that sons and daughters love so much.

With the food ready, the adults took seats around the long patio table. Even in my foul mood, I had to admit that the burgers were delicious.

“Did you shoot this deer yourself, Phil?” Dani asked as she took a huge bight from her venison burger. I couldn’t help but smile as a bit of avocado dribbled down her lip. She certainly wasn’t a shy eater. Add it to the endless list of things I love about her.

“I did indeed,” my dad said proudly. “And I thank that buck for the meat it provided. You see, hunting is all about respect for the creatures you kill. A quick death. An honorable use of every part of the animal.”

My dad leaned away from my mother and towards Dani, his tone hushed, “I’ll show you a few of my rifles after we eat. Have you ever fired a gun before?”

“Dad,” I interrupted, my mouth full of meat. “Come on, she doesn’t want to–“

“I do want to,” Dani said, her voice whipping my mouth shut. “And I never have, Phil. Would you teach me?”

“Of course!” my dad whispered. “Finish up your food and meet me in the garage. Alex, you come too. You can teach her the rules of weapon safety.”

Dani and my father smiled at each other, and I buried my face in my plate until my food had disappeared. When they were done, my dad snuck off first, then Dani, and I reluctantly followed. When I arrived in the garage, dad already had the safe open and two rifles resting on his workbench.

“Ah, there he is. Shut the door!” My dad hissed. “Your mom hates when I show these off.”

“It makes you look like a redneck,” I teased, walking over to the table and picking up one of the rifles. I slid the bolt back and ensured that the chamber was empty. The weapon was unloaded and safe.

“I ain’t no hillbilly!” my father proclaimed. “Now, teach Dani here the golden rules.”

“Why do I have to do it?”

“This way I can see if you’ve forgotten anything and teach her at the same time,” he said, smiling as he put a finger to his temple. “Two birds with one stone, son. That’s why I get paid the big bucks.”

“Fine,” I grumbled, turning to face Dani with the rifle in my hands. She stood with her hands clasped in front of her, eyes attentive and alert. I gazed at her for a moment before shaking off my dirty thoughts. This was serious, and I had to treat it as such.

“Guns are dangerous, Dani,” I said, looking down at the rifle. “And as such, we should treat them with the respect they deserve. They aren’t toys. They’re tools.”

I slid the bolt back again and drew her attention to the empty chamber. “Even though this gun isn’t loaded, you must treat it like it is. Always treat a weapon like it’s loaded, and yalova escort bayan never point the barrel of a weapon at anything or anyone you’re not prepared to shoot.”

A flash of my brother’s drunken face invaded my mind. My trigger finger twitched restlessly.

Dani’s eyes were drawn to my finger as it moved, and I used it as a segway into my next point. “Never touch the trigger until you have decided that you’re ready to fire. Even when the safety is on.” I showed her the safety. “Keep your finger away from the trigger.”

I could see myself pulling the trigger. My brother’s face distorted and blurred.

I droned on in monotone, drowning in twisted thought. “Always know what’s behind your target… You could miss and hit someone else… Or the bullet could pass through your target and hit whatever’s behind it…”

My dad clapped dramatically next to me. “Look at that, he’s still got it. Alex is a crack shot, Dani. You’ll see when we take you shooting sometime.”

“I don’t doubt that he is,” she said, and I smiled at her.

“Were you paying attention?” I asked.

“Yes…”

“Then repeat it all back to me.”

And she did. She made it clear that she had digested and understood how to be safe with a weapon so I handed her the rifle, nodding my head as she took it and immediately made sure to point it down and away from us.

“I always knew you were smart, Dani,” my dad said. “And that’s the only kind of person I trust around a loaded gun.”

After a few minutes of familiarizing her with a few of the rifles, my mom’s screeching voice bled through the walls of the garage, “Phil! Where the hell is that man? Phil, come help me with the damn dishes! I swear if he’s in there showing off his guns…”

“Shit,” my dad hissed, running to the door. “Alex, put that stuff away, will you? She’ll have my ass if she finds out.” With that, he fled back into the house and shut the door.

I carefully took the rifle from Dani, sliding it into the rack in the massive gun safe.

“I texted you this morning,” she said. “What happened to your phone? I know you didn’t drop it in the ocean.”

“I broke it.” I couldn’t help but snap at her, and I immediately felt like an asshole for doing it.

“Oh, OK…” I closed the safe. Neither of us moved. “Alex, are you upset with me?”

“What do you think?”

Dani whimpered, tears already welling up in her eyes. “What do you want me to do? Do you think this is easy for me? Don’t you realize that the guilt is eating me alive?”

“Why should you feel guilty?” I was pacing now, fighting back the urge to punch a hole in the wall. “He doesn’t fucking deserve you, Dani! No one knows that with more certainty than I do!”

“Maybe not… but he doesn’t deserve to be lied to and cheated on either,” she cried, burying her face in her hands.

I stopped my pacing, closing the distance between us until I could smell the chlorine in her hair. “Do you even love him?”

“I… I did,” she admitted, not looking up at me. “And I still do in a way. But not like I love you, Alex. What I feel for you doesn’t even seem possible. And I think I’ve felt this way for a long time. But we’re not supposed to fucking love each other. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be…”

“But it is, Dani,” I whispered, taking her by the wrists and lowering her hands. Her cheeks were streaked with tears, and I reached up to wipe the sadness away. “I’ll never forgive myself if I let you go. I’ll never stop trying to convince you to follow your heart–“

She kissed me. Tears still rolled gently out of her, sharing the sorrow with my cheeks as our tongues crashed together. We broke for a moment as I lifted her by her ass and set her down on the workbench.

“I know, Alex,” she said, sliding the beach robe down her body. “And I don’t want you to stop…”

Anyone could have opened the door and found us there, but we didn’t care. I reached down and slid her bikini bottom’s to one side as she ripped the velcro on my shorts open. My cock was already soaked with precum, sliding against her clit before cruising perfectly into her.

Her sandals flopped onto the garage floor one after the other as her legs crossed and her ankles hooked at my lower back. It was primal, furious sex. We both gasped and moaned as I fucked her relentlessly on the bench.

Handtools rolled and fell as the workbench knocked against the wall, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t hold back my lust for her. I rammed against her harder, determined to pump my seed into her right there in my father’s garage.

I bit her lower lip.

She scratched me hard on the back.

One of her tits bounced and finally popped out of her top.

“Oh fuck, Alex,” she moaned into my mouth. “Fuck fuck fuck–“

“Hey, you two!” The garage door flew open and my father’s head poked inside.

“Fuck!”

I was already cumming and I refused to pull out of her. Instead, I lifted her and turned away from the door, shielding her from my father’s furious, disappointed eyes.

He disappeared just as suddenly as he had arrived, but I escort yalova knew that he’d seen everything.

He saw Dani’s legs wrapped around me, my shorts at my knees, and my ass on full display.

He heard me groan like an animal as I exploded inside of her, all while I was swirling in the strange mixture of pleasure and shame.

It was only a matter of time until somebody caught us, but why the fuck did it have to be him? I suppose it could have been worse–it could have been mom–but I found myself wishing that Mike had caught us instead. We could have hashed it out right there, falling into a frenzy of flying fists and cursing each other until one of us emerged victoriously. It would have been messy, but at least the conflict would have been direct.

Dani slipped down from my arms as the door slammed shut, already sobbing, her voice full of panic. “Oh my god. Oh my god. What the fuck, Alex? He saw us. What the fuck are we going to do?”

“I don’t know…”

More important was the question of what my dad was going to do. Was he out there spilling our secret to the rest of the family? Had he gone upstairs to rouse Mike and warn him that his brother was fucking his wife in the garage? Or would he keep quiet and torture us with his silence?

Anything but that, please…

I helped Dani get her beach robe on as she tucked her breasts back into her bikini top, rubbing her shoulders gently only to find her cringing at my touch.

Before I could say anything, the door swung open again. We lurched away from each other like two teenagers who’d just been caught making out. My dad came into the garage and shut the door, sighing to himself but refusing to look at us.

“Dani,” he said, his voice trembling, “why don’t you take a plate of food up to Mike? Alex, let’s take a walk.”

Neither of us protested, and Dani rushed out of the garage, furiously wiping the tears from her eyes.

My parents’ neighborhood was lively with people enjoying their Sunday. Kids occupied entire culdesacs, playing games that only they understood the rules for. Old couples walked along the sidewalks with their smiling labradors, waving at us as we passed. And my father and I floated through it all like ghosts, silent and pale despite the beauty of the afternoon.

When we came to the park on the other side of the neighborhood, my father picked out a bench at random and had a seat. I followed suit, taking the opposite end of the bench.

He let out another hefty, fatherly sigh that made me retreat into myself. Christ, just fucking say something, please…

“I remember watching you boys play basketball here every summer,” he finally said, clearing his throat. “When you were teenagers, I would sometimes grab one of the benches on the far side of the field, that way you two wouldn’t know I was watching. I know how it is at that age. Most kids don’t want their parents around all the time.”

“I didn’t know that, Dad,” I said, my voice breaking pathetically.

“You weren’t a bad team out there. But when Mikey’s temper got a hold of him, things would usually fall apart. He got in so many fights out there…”

“I got in a few myself,” I said, laughing at the memory of stupid basketball court beefs. They were so dramatic at the time, but now they seemed silly and small.

“You did,” my father replied, finally looking at me. His face was drooped, sapped of its usual gravity-defying lightness, “but you only fought when you had to, Alex. Mike… Mike sought it out. He would fight any son-of-a-bitch just for daring to block his shot. Not you–you’ve always been the level-headed one.”

He paused as a family walked in front of us, and for a moment it felt like we were two spies exchanging information that could sink nations.

“So what the fuck happened to that boy, Alex?” he continued. “What changed that would cause you to do something so God damn stupid?”

He stared at me, waiting for an answer.

“Her, Dad.” I knew he wouldn’t like it, but it was the only answer I had to give. “Dani… I’m in love with her.”

“And you think your brother isn’t? Jesus Christ, did it ever occur to you that his marriage to Dani is the only thing keeping Mike from drinking himself to fucking death?”

So there it is, out in the open, the elephant that’s been in the room and ignored for years.

Rage boiled in me like those days on the basketball court when some asshole had finally pushed me to my limit, and I slid across the bench and snapped back, “It’s always fucking been like this with him. Our family coddles Mike because everyone is afraid to set him off or push him towards another bender, but why the fuck is that our problem? She doesn’t love him anymore, and she never loved him like she loves me.”

I held his gaze, listening to a ball bounce before sailing through the rusty set of chains on the court. “Should Dani be trapped in her marriage because her husband might kill himself if she leaves?”

“Her husband is your brother, Alex,” he replied, shaking his head as he spoke. “Don’t you care about him at all or anyone else in this family? This road you’ve chosen to walk will not end well… and no matter how self-righteous your rhetoric is, nothing excuses what you and Dani have done. You’ve gone behind all of our backs–you’ve lied to us all.”

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