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***Every story in my DAMN KIDS series includes a “short” at the beginning***

Cell Phones and Busted Toilets

– a DAMN KIDS short

**flashback: Tuesday night**

“Kevin, we said we were going to get some sleep tonight,” Lauren said as her shirtless husband snuck up behind her while she was brushing her teeth in front of the bathroom mirror. She could feel his hands sliding under her nightie and beneath the back of her panties while she was rinsing and spitting.

Kevin massaged Lauren’s ass as he kissed her neck. She finished cleaning her face with a towel as her lips eased into a soft smile. She then looked into the mirror at her husband. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a few seconds, enjoying his touch.

She then shook herself out of her delightful state as she spun around to face him. “You need your rest, Kevin. You have barely slept the past week working on your big project and it’s already half past 11.”

“So not sleeping tonight won’t be that big of a deal,” Kevin said just before leaning down and returning his lips to Lauren’s neck.

“Kevin, we can’t…Kevin…” Lauren’s eyes rolled back along with her head and neck as she relaxed into her husband’s seduction. “Kevin…” she whispered as he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off her feet. Lauren’s legs straddled Kevin as he carried her out of the bathroom and to their bed.

Laying her down on her back, he continued his oral assault on her neck. After quite a few seconds, Lauren asked, “Is the bedroom door locked?”

“I think so,” Kevin said in between kisses.

“Kevin… The kids…,” she said, opening her eyes to look at the door.

“They’re asleep, Lauren,” he said, determined to continue their passionate moment.

“Kevin,” Lauren said firmly, her relaxed neck muscles tensing under the weight of his lips.

Kevin let his head fall backward as he exhaled. He then leaped off the bed and checked to see if the door was locked. It was. He then turned toward Lauren.

“Was that so hard?” she said, resting back on her elbows and smiling seductively.

“Not as hard as I am.”

Lauren chuckled. “Then what are you doing standing over there?”

Kevin tried to climb onto the bed only to have Lauren place her foot at his chest to block him. “Why do you need your shorts on?” she asked.

“Don’t you still have on your underwear?”

“This underwear?” Lauren said, raising her hand and dangling her panties from her fingers.

Kevin smiled as he stared at the bottom of Lauren’s nightie. He then disrobed and crawled between Lauren’s legs. She slid down toward Kevin, allowing the bottom of her nightie to ride up and expose her nudity. Kevin kissed her on her lips as he positioned his tip and slid inside her warmth.

“You’re pretty wet,” Kevin said as he stroked his wife.

“You made me…pretty hot…in the bathroom,” Lauren said between moans.

They then heard Lauren’s phone ring. Kevin paused. Lauren thrust her hips toward him as she grabbed his ass with both hands. “No, baby. Don’t stop. I don’t have to answer…”

Kevin resumed sexing his wife, moving ever deeper inside her as she grasped and twisted the bed sheets in her outstretched fists.

The phone stopped ringing as they continued…until it, again, started ringing. They both paused, sighing in frustration. They then looked at one another for a couple of seconds before Kevin reached over to Lauren’s side table and retrieved her phone.

He looked at the display and then turned it toward her. “Damn it, mom,” she said as she took the phone from Kevin.

Shaking his head, he moved out of, and from on top of, his wife. “Hi, mom.” Lauren said feigning a groggy voice as she sat next to Kevin on the bed. “Yeah, sorry I missed the first call…Yeah, it’s kind of late…”

There was then a knock at the bedroom door. Kevin looked confused. He put on his shorts as Lauren pulled down her nightie and covered herself with the bed sheet. Kevin opened the door to find Russell looking up at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?” Kevin asked his young boy.

Russell rubbed his eyes. “I got up to go boo-boo and I flushed the potty and the water started coming out of it.”

Kevin ran his fingers over his head. “OK. Go back to bed. I’ll take care of it.”

Kevin sped toward his own bathroom as he looked at his wife, who was still talking to her mother. She non-verbally asked what was wrong. “Toilet overflowed,” Kevin said.

After a few seconds he emerged from their bathroom with a toilet plunger. As he passed his wife – on his way to fix their children’s plumbing issue – he looked at Lauren and said, “Damn kids.

She smiled as she continued her conversation with her mother.


-a DAMN KIDS story

**Thursday morning**

“Kevin,” Virgil Chandler called across the small conference table for the second time.

“Yes,” Kevin said, wide-eyed, startled, and nervous that he had dozed off in the middle of the meeting.

“Are these final illustrations what you had in mind?” Virgil repeated himself. “I know I am yenibosna escort technically the team lead on this but this ad campaign was your brainchild. And it was a great one. So we want to make sure the art matches your vision.”

Kevin nodded. He then held in a yawn while looking around at his other team members. He was having a difficult time maintaining any thoughts.

“Great,” Kevin said. “It’s…the art…it’s great. I like it. It…I think it works with the campaign. Home run.”

Everyone stared, dumbfounded, at Kevin. Virgil then smiled. “You look exhausted, man. We can take a break if you need to splash some water on…”

“No, no, no,” Kevin said. He then rubbed his eyes and face while taking a deep breath. “I’m fine. Really.” Kevin looked at the clock on the wall. “We have a break coming up in about 30 minutes. I’ll be fine until then.”

“OK,” Virgil said. “I know you have been working hard on this. And I know those kids keep you running at home. I get tired just thinking about it.” Kevin smiled as Virgil continued. “We are right at the finish line. Just give us a few more hours and we’ll put this campaign to bed.”

Kevin nodded. The kids…yeah, he thought as his mind wandered back to the night before.


**flashback: early Wednesday morning**

“Oh…my…god…Kevin…” Lauren said as her husband fucked her from behind. She was bent over the edge of the bed with her work skirt hiked up to her waist. Kevin’s slacks and underwear were at his ankles as he struggled to not get his button-down shirt and tie soiled while enjoying his wife..

“Ke-vin…Ke-vin?…” Lauren’s calls between her husbands’ pumps began to sound more like firm requests than passion. She finally reached back and put her right hand on his hip to stop his ever harder thrusts. “Kevin. We can’t get too crazy. We still have work and the kids have to get to school.”

“Oh. Oh. OK. Sorry,” Kevin said half out of breath.

He continued with slow, methodical strokes that seemed to relax Lauren back into the spirit of the moment. Kevin then slid his hand under her blouse and into her bra. He took her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and began to bear down on it until Lauren yelped louder than she meant to.

Her eyes rolled back in her head. “Kevin,” she said with labored breath, arching her back and thrusting her bottom into his crotch, driving him deeper inside her.

Lauren began slamming her ass into Kevin as he continued to tweak her nipple almost to the point of pain. Kevin braced himself as Lauren thrust back harder and harder into him until she exploded into a sustained climax.

She then collapsed onto the bed, Kevin sliding out of her in the process. Between gasps of air, Lauren said, “Damn you.”

Kevin smiled as he said, “What? You didn’t enjoy yourself? Especially after last night’s interruptions?”

“We don’t have time for all of this, Kevin. We have to get the kids to school, and…”

“We have enough time. We are fine.”

“We’re done with breakfast!” Sofia called to her parents from the kitchen.

Lauren rose up on her palms, turning to glare at Kevin.

“Most wives would thank their husbands for…”

Lauren stood up and pecked Kevin on the lips. “Thank you.” She pecked him again. “Damn you. Now I have to rush.”

She then sped into the bathroom to get cleaned up as Kevin watched her bare ass walk away before getting himself back together for work.


**Thursday mid-morning**

A very groggy Kevin stood at the water cooler filling his cone a second time for a drink and seriously thinking of throwing the ice cold water onto his face.

Zach, one of his team members, walked by and patted Kevin on the shoulder. “Dude, you look out of it.”

“I’m alright,” Kevin said.

“Kids, huh?” Zach said as he headed to his desk. “Too bad you can’t blame it on fantastic sex.”

Kevin chuckled. “Too bad,” he said with a sly smile. He then, after retrieving one more cone of water, walked back to his own desk.

When Kevin sat down, he saw the message light on his cell phone blinking. Lauren had sent him a text. When he opened it he immediately covered his phone and looked to see if anyone was around him.

He then looked back at the picture Lauren had sent him. It was her hand holding a pair of white, lace panties. The text read, “Found them!”

Kevin responded:

Kevin: You know I’m at work.

Lauren: Did anyone see the picture?

Kevin: No. Fortunately.

Lauren: Good.

I found them behind my bedside table.

Kevin: Better you than the kids.

Lauren: No kidding.

What are you doing?

Kevin: We are taking a break.

I can barely keep my eyes open.

Your fault.

Lauren: 🙂 Some husbands would thank their wives for an incredible night of sex.

Kevin: Yeah, yeah. Are you on a break?

Lauren: Of sorts.

We were slow so I took the day off.

Kevin: Are you serious???

Lauren then sent him a selfie of her zeytinburnu escort sitting on their sun porch holding her coffee mug and smiling.

Lauren: Last night was pretty wild.

It wore me out.

There’s no way I would have been able to concentrate on work today.


Kevin: You are evil.

I have to go.

Lauren: Sorry babe.

But thanks for last night.

I really enjoyed it.

Kevin: Pure evil.

Lauren: I love you!

Kevin put his phone back onto his desk and retrieved some eye drops from his top drawer. He then, once again, slapped his cheeks and shook his head.

Standing up to go back to his meeting, Kevin paused and smiled. He sat back at his desk and reopened the picture of Lauren’s panties. He shook his head as he felt himself getting hard. He then put his phone back into his pocket as he walked back to the conference room.


**flashback: early Wednesday evening**

Lauren was arranging dirty dishes in the sink when Rose walked up to her with her fork and empty plate from dinner.

“Just put them on the counter,” she told her daughter.

“Thanks, Mom,” Rose said. “It was great.”

Lauren smiled. “Thank you, honey.”

Sofia then bounded toward Lauren. “Thank you, Mom!” she said, placing her empty dish on the counter as Lauren gave her a huge smile.

A few seconds later, Russell came to his mother. His mouth and cheeks were decorated with food. Lauren chuckled and shook her head at the sight.

“Put your plate with the others,” Lauren said, “… and then go and get a wet towel and wash your face.”

Russell smiled as he placed his plate on the counter. “OK, mommy. Thank you for dinner, mommy,” he said, rubbing his stomach. “It was deee-licious!”

Lauren laughed. “Thank you, honey.”

“So where should I put mine?” Kevin said in a low, deep voice an inch from Lauren’s ear.

Lauren’s body jolted. She then smiled as she continued to rinse dishes and load the dishwasher. “I have a special place for you to put yours.”

“Sounds promising,” Kevin said, kissing Lauren’s ear.

As he slid his hands and arms around her waist Lauren said, “You know I couldn’t concentrate at work today. All I could think about was how good you felt this morning.”

“Good,” Kevin said as his lips made their way to her neck. He tightened his grip around his wife as he started brushing her neck with the tip of his tongue.

“Kevin,” Lauren said, grasping his forearms and trying to pull them from her waist. “The kids.”

“What kids?” Kevin said as he continued.

Lauren then tapped his forearm and he relented, though still loosely holding her waist. “We have to be careful not to get too crazy tonight,” she said. “You have your final meeting tomorrow and you are already sleep deprived.”

“It isn’t sleep I am worried about you depriving me of.”

“Kevin,” Lauren said as she turned to look at her husband. “You’re insatiable.”

“Would you rather me be otherwise?”

Lauren turned to look past the kitchen half-wall and into the living room to see if any of the kids were in immediate sight. They weren’t. She then faced the kitchen sink with Kevin still standing behind her.

Lauren grasped one of Kevin’s hands and eased it down inside the front of her sweatpants. Kevin’s heart raced at the feel of one of his favorite pair of Lauren’s panties.

“Oooh,” Kevin said. “The ‘v’ front. I like these.”

“Me, too,” Lauren said with her eyes closed, enjoying Kevin’s touch.

“That makes it so much easier to…”

Lauren’s body shuddered at the feel of Kevin’s middle finger sliding down her already wet clit. Her knees went weak as her husband massaged her, flicking her tip with every upstroke.

“Kev…Kevin. You c…you can’t make me cum in the kitchen.”

“Then why did you go around all day wearing the sexiest panties imaginable?” Kevin asked as he continued.

Lauren shook her head, trying to maintain her balance while in her husband’s arms. Panting, she said. “I…I…I didn’t. I didn’t wear them. Not all day.”

“You mean you changed into them when we got home?”

Lauren nodded. “Yeah. I’m about to cum. Don’t stop, baby.”

Kevin smiled. “And you put my hands down your pants and didn’t expect to get molested in the kitchen?”

Lauren’s began breathing faster. “Ke…Kevin…Don’t….Don’t sto…”

Kevin’s finger increased pace just as Lauren began to climax. A few seconds later she gasped. Her legs tensed as she stood straight up, almost cracking Kevin in the chin with the top of her head.

He held her tight around her waist with his free arm, still rubbing her clit as her entire body jerked and shook. Lauren then collapsed in Kevin’s arms, her head back on his chest and her breathing labored.

“Daddy?” Sofia’s voice called from much closer than Kevin was comfortable. Lauren’s eyes popped open as Kevin looked back over his shoulder at his smiling middle child.

“Yes?…Baby?” Kevin said with a forced smile as he and mecidiyeköy escort Lauren stood frozen in place.

“I’m done with my homework. Can I play on my DS now?”

“Umm, sure, baby,” Kevin said. “Have fun.”

“Thank you, daddy!” Sofia said before cluelessly leaving the kitchen and bounding off to her room.

Kevin turned back around and exhaled. Lauren then said, “You might want to move your hand from out of my pants now.”

“Oh, yeah. Good call.”


**Thursday afternoon**

Kevin sat at the table in Phillip’s Bistro with his co-workers, staring at his shrimp caesar salad through glazed eyes. “Kevin,” Virgil said, pausing from eating his own lunch. “You really need to get some rest. I’ve never seen you like this.”

“I’m sorry,” Kevin said. “I didn’t get any sleep last night.”

“Is one of your kids sick?” Zach asked as Kevin shook his head.

“They don’t have to be sick to keep you up at night,” Greg said.

“Well, you have a newborn,” Virgil said to Greg.

“Yeah. Six months and he still gets up twice in the middle of the night to feed,” Greg said.

“Kevin,” Zach called out, startling Kevin whose head shot up. “Really? Did you just doze off?”

Kevin lifted his fork as he said, “What part of sleep deprived are you not understanding?”

“OK,” Zach said. “I have to know. What happened to you last night? Is everything alright?”

Kevin nodded as he ate a bite of his salad. “Everything’s fine. I just had a late night.”

Zach, Greg, and Virgil looked at one another. They then looked back at Kevin as he continued to eat. “Well, you didn’t have anything to do on the project,” Zach said. “And your kids didn’t keep you up.”

“Right.” Kevin said through a half-full mouth.

“And…” Zach continued. “…we all know married couples don’t have all-night marathon sex, so…”

As his co-workers studied his face the edges of Kevin’s lips began to curl into the faintest smile. The threesome then sat back and started laughing.

“How long have you been married?” Zach asked Kevin.

“Almost 14 years.”

“Wow,” Greg said. “You’re doing better than me at three years.”

Kevin shook his head. “You have a newborn. That kills your sex life…but only temporarily. My youngest is five and a half.”

Greg considered Kevin’s words. “Well, that’s something to look forward to.”

“It is,” Kevin said before continuing with his salad.

“Man, you knew we had this meeting,” Virgil said. “You couldn’t wait one more night for cirque du soliel?”

Kevin smiled. “She couldn’t wait.”

The other three guys laughed. “Whatever,” Virgil said.

“So she just couldn’t keep her hands off you?” Greg asked Kevin.

“Something like that.”

“Wow,” Greg said. “My hero.”

Kevin took a theatrical bow.

“Man,” Zach said. “I thought for sure marriage was the end of sex.”

“You’ve been watching too much TV,” Kevin said. “All those people trying to convince you that men want sex more than women? Who are the men having sex with?”

The three nodded their agreement as Zach said, “Maybe there is something to look forward to in marriage after all.”

“Yeah,” Kevin said. “Just make sure you don’t need your rest for a meeting the next morning.”


**flashback: Wednesday evening**

“Other than number 9 everything looks good,” A shirtless Kevin said to Rose as he stood in the doorway of his bedroom with his other two children lined up behind their big sister and waiting to greet him. He was wearing only his plaid pajama pants as he looked over his daughter’s pre-algebra homework.

“I’ll fix it,” Rose said.

“OK, and then get ready for bed,” Kevin said before kissing his daughter on the forehead. “Now go tell your mother goodnight.” Rose then moved toward the bed where her mom laid covered up to her chest with the bed sheet and comforter.

“Goodnight, daddy!” Sofia said looking up at her father with a huge smile which evoked one from Kevin.

“Goodnight, baby,” he said, kissing Sofia before she bounded toward her mother.

Kevin then looked down at a beaming Russell. Kevin lifted his son into his arms, flipped him upside down, and began tickling him. Russell’s laughter filled the room as Lauren and the girls watched in delight.

Kevin finally turned his son right-side up, hugged him, and told him goodnight. Russell then told his mom goodnight before the three kids left for bed.

Kevin exhaled before closing and locking the door. He turned around and looked at his wife, who was smiling at him, and said, “I love these kids but sometimes I feel like a break would be nice.”

“How about I give you a break now?” Lauren said. “It seems like you need to relax tonight.”

“And you can help me with that?” Kevin asked with raised eyebrow.

Lauren lowered the bedspread, exposing her bare breasts. Kevin then asked, “When did you do that?”

Lauren uncovered her entire body, revealing her white, lace panties. She then swung her legs out of the bed, stood up, and began sauntering toward her husband.

“And where are the v-cut panties?” Kevin asked. “Not that I don’t like these.”

Lauren ran her hand from Kevin’s belly button up the center of his torso to the top of his chest. She then ran her fingers back down his body and down the front of his pants, stroking his penis through his pajamas as she kissed his lips.

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